1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,386 Michael, since it is your 15th anniversary at the company, 2 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,388 I thought it might be appropriate to begin the 3 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,683 festivities with a 15 minute round of applause. 4 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,101 I like it. 5 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,812 Followed by a 15 minute moment of silence. 6 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,855 I don't know. 7 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,232 Is it classy enough? 8 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,860 Jim, enough with the classy, okay? 9 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,487 Dwight, I'm very sorry that my wearing a tuxedo 10 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,031 is annoying you. 11 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,907 Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code, 12 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,994 so this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously. 13 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:37,954 You know what, I would like to know 14 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,414 what Jim has to say about this. 15 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,208 I just feel like after 15 years at this company, 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,294 bravo, by the way, that we should celebrate 17 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,755 with a very classy event, a night to remember. 18 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,256 I think you're right. 19 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,675 This party has to have all the excitement, drama, 20 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,011 and intrigue of my time here. 21 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,847 - And of course, classy. - And classy, yeah. 22 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,766 Michael, you're just agreeing with him 23 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,017 'cause he's wearing a tux. 24 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,352 Don't you see what he's doing here? 25 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,686 I think Michael's a little too classy 26 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,104 to fall for something like that. 27 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,898 Thank you, Pamela, I concur. 28 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,775 Okay, fine, moving on. 29 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:10,403 Next idea, oh, here's one, a string quartet 30 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,405 playing classical music. 31 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,158 (Jim inhaling) 32 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,912 Hmm, you know that's good, but it's not classy. 33 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:22,040 I, I need something classy, 34 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,167 like the opening of a car dealership. 35 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,711 - That's it, or Mr. Peanut. - Yes. 36 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,505 - Mr. Peanut is not classy. - He is. 37 00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:31,424 He is a regular peanut, he just happens to have a cane, 38 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,676 a monocle, and a top hat. 39 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,302 That's what makes him classy, am I right? 40 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:38,723 Whoa, sushi-grade Tuna, very classy. 41 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,600 Meeting in progress, scram! 42 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,311 Okay, how about this, an ice sculpture shaped like you, 43 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,730 covered in chocolate covered strawberries. 44 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,190 - Mm. - Aw, Dwight, 45 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,900 you're trying too hard, and that's just not classy. 46 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,444 See, the thing about classy is it's a state of mind. 47 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,406 Well, I'm sorry, I just don't know what classy is then. 48 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,074 Okay, let's just try this one on for size, 49 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,076 and I apologize 'cause it's right off the top of my head, 50 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,121 (inhaling) an ice sculpture of you, 51 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,039 completely surrounded by a variety 52 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,208 - of chocolate covered fruits. - Strawberries? 53 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,252 - That's inspired. - I said that! 54 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,588 (door thudding) 55 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,008 - Not classy. - Not classy at all. 56 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:17,012 - Declasse. - French, classy. 57 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:20,557 (bright upbeat music) 58 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,701 (keyboard keys clicking) 59 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:40,994 (Charles sighing) 60 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,912 (door clicking) 61 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,414 Hi, can I help you? 62 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,125 {\an8}Uh yeah, I'm Charles Miner, here to see Michael Scott. 63 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,752 {\an8}Sure, just one second, please have a seat. 64 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:49,794 {\an8}Thank you. 65 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,755 {\an8}(phone ringing) 66 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,298 {\an8}[Michael] Yes? 67 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,132 {\an8}Michael, there's a Charles Miner here to see you. 68 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,842 Miner? I hardly know her. 69 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,221 Hello? 70 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,431 Yeah, are you coming out now? 71 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,307 Uh huh. 72 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,808 (phone clanking) 73 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,144 Well, well, well, who have we here? 74 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:10,315 Ah, it is Prince Charles Miner, at your service. 75 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:14,986 {\an8}Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner, 76 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,114 {\an8}and he is the new VP for the Northeast region. 77 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,241 {\an8}So just give it up for this big guy, right? 78 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,493 {\an8}Give it up. (people clapping) 79 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,494 {\an8}- Here he is. - Hey. 80 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:23,828 {\an8}- There he is. - Hi. 81 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,914 {\an8}- Hi everyone- - Wow! Hold that thought. 82 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,248 {\an8}You know what? 83 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,833 {\an8}I want everybody to go into the break room, 84 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,418 {\an8}I have a little surprise for you. 85 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,795 {\an8}Go ahead, you too. 86 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,546 Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? 87 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,424 Come on, here we go, don't be shy, don't be shy. 88 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,676 You're one of us. 89 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,927 Dwight, stall him a little bit, 90 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,387 I wanna get the fish. 91 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,346 - Hey. - Yes? 92 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,015 {\an8}Really wish you would've told me 93 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,475 {\an8}the new boss was coming today. 94 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,435 {\an8}What? No, I didn't wanna make everybody nervous. 95 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,063 {\an8}Nope, I mean I could've brought a change of clothes, or- 96 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,399 {\an8}You looked dynamite, what are you talking about? 97 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,483 {\an8}Very slick. 98 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,609 Okay, let me get the fish. 99 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,196 {\an8}Originally founded in 1866, 100 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,365 {\an8}Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's 101 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,909 {\an8}largest anthracite coal mining communities. 102 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,538 {\an8}The nation's enormous need for energy during World War II 103 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,499 {\an8}was slaked by extensive strip mining in the region. 104 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:13,169 {\an8}Although in 1959, the Knox mining disaster 105 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,630 {\an8}pretty much put an end to the industry. 106 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,842 {\an8}- Abandoned in is mission- - Surprise! 107 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,093 {\an8}There is nothing in here. 108 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,178 The real surprise is in the conference room. 109 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,722 Let's go! (hand thudding) Ow! 110 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,890 God, okay, come on, come on. 111 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,308 {\an8}I'll finish it up later, 112 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,936 {\an8}but essentially what we're talking about is... 113 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,688 Surprise! 114 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,568 As you can see, I turned the bagels from Os 115 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,153 into Cs, for Charles. 116 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,156 - Thank you. - Took me all night. 117 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,907 This is what you did last night? 118 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,826 I met this guy at corporate last week, 119 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,912 and we were just digging each other's vibe. 120 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,540 I was totally grooving on him, and vice versa. 121 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,001 And besides, the last two people to have his job 122 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,586 were Jan and Ryan. 123 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:58,465 The former was my lover, and the latter, my best friend. 124 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,716 So who knows? 125 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,427 I do. 126 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,262 It's gonna be met-o. 127 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,515 It's going to be mental. 128 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,020 Oh my God, he's like a Black George Clooney. 129 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,356 Really? I don't see it. 130 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:18,651 I mean he's okay, he's not unattractive, he's... 131 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:19,861 Hey, how you doing? 132 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,446 - I'm Jim Halpert from sales. - Hey. 133 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,573 Just wanted to say if you need anything, let me know. 134 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,951 Why are you wearing a tuxedo? 135 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,496 I didn't think you'd notice. (chuckling) 136 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,956 Uh, it's funny, actually, there's another salesman out here, 137 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,792 Dwight Schrute, he sent out this memo, 138 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,126 as he always does, 139 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,170 and it was about professionalism in the workplace. 140 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,963 And of course he singled me out. 141 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,007 So I just had to mess with him. 142 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,301 Uh. 143 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,719 Oh, you'd understand it if you read the memo, 144 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:45,970 which I should probably get you, 145 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,890 there's probably one in the drawer. 146 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,392 It was pretty crazy, 147 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:54,187 but not more crazy than wearing a tux at work- 148 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,271 - Right. - I grant you that. 149 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,148 - Okay. - So I'm gonna uh- 150 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,608 - Your name's Jim? - Jim Halpert, yep. 151 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,444 So just gonna let you get back to it, so... 152 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,823 He just had to wear his tux today. 153 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,990 I thought I'd be funny. 154 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,617 Took 'em 40 minutes to get ready. 155 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,123 In business school, they told us how to assess operations 156 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,541 and identify waste. 157 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,504 It is rare that the waste so readily identifies itself. 158 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,174 I'm telling you, when corporate sends somebody, 159 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:28,138 it is big trouble, or really good news. 160 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,101 And then again, sometimes it just means business as usual. 161 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,936 Okay, what are you thinking? 162 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,855 - Well, it's- - Why are you asking him? 163 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,231 I just told you why he's here. 164 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:41,693 The real question here is who's this guy work for? 165 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,527 Dunder Mifflin. 166 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,782 Oh, it's all starting to make sense now. 167 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,787 All right, let me introduce you to some of the troops. 168 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,707 Accounting, front and center, come on up here. 169 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,625 I'd like you to meet somebody. 170 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,210 This is the accounting department. 171 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,212 Hey, hey, I come from accounting too. 172 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,547 - Oh, nerd alert. - Not- 173 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,216 - This is Oscar Martinez. - Hey. 174 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,552 He is Latino, 175 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,180 and he just got out of a long term relationship, 176 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:13,058 with a man, Gil, who broke his heart, 177 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,684 but he didn't bring any of that into work. 178 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978 It did not affect his job performance whatsoever, 179 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,230 and I'm very proud of him for that. 180 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,191 Hey Oscar, it's good to meet you. 181 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,400 - Nice to meet you. - Okay. 182 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,320 This little hell raiser is Angela. 183 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,365 She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. 184 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,658 Right over there, the orange. 185 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,745 - Ay Yo. - Ay Yo, where's the other? 186 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,163 You know, Michael, 187 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,247 I don't need to know everyone's sexual history. 188 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,707 - Well. - Thanks. 189 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,626 Perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin, 190 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,544 and he has no sexual (laughing) history. 191 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,756 Hey, I have had way more sex than you. 192 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,051 No, you have not. How many have you had? 193 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,886 - You say first. - Same time. 194 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,096 - Three. - 100. 195 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,639 Seven. 196 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,224 How 'bout I just say hi to everyone at one time? 197 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,600 Good, good good good. 198 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,561 Everyone, please give it up for Charles Miner. 199 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,689 (people clapping) 200 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,482 - Thank you, uh- - Hey. 201 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,069 Dwight, Dwight, cool it, come on. 202 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,278 Thank you, Michael. 203 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,280 Thank you for the C-shaped bagels. 204 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,157 - Bro, well. - Great, that's great. 205 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,367 Above and beyond. 206 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,702 Hey, you know, we're in tough times, 207 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,662 and we're not immune to this economy. 208 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,247 That's true. 209 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,124 But the goal is to, you know, fight our way through this. 210 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,292 (throat clearing) Stanley Hudson, 211 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,794 are there gonna be layoffs? 212 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,004 No, absolutely not. 213 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,463 Uh, hold on Michael, thank you. 214 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,882 Uh, Stanley, you know, we can't make any promises, 215 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,969 but we'll try everything in our power to avoid that. 216 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,512 Do you have specifics? 217 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,265 Spec, well, Michael should have filled you in last week. 218 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,309 Well, due to the economy, 219 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,145 there's a lot of worry going around, 220 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,354 - and I didn't wanna worry- - You didn't tell? 221 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,647 - People, well. - No. 222 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,982 Why don't? 223 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,233 Yeah, I, what I told Michael last- 224 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,484 Charles is gonna tell you. 225 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,154 Is that we are cutting 3% across the board, 226 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,156 which means we will no longer be matching 227 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,868 401k contributions, and all overtime requests 228 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,704 will need to come through the corporate office. 229 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,913 Fantastic. 230 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,541 Well, I am looking for ways to cut that 3%. 231 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,210 I think we should all start by all coming together, 232 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,212 and giving 103%. 233 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,173 Actually, Michael, it's not open for discussion. 234 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,341 - Well, it's not official. - It is official. 235 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,300 - Well, er. - It is official. 236 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,509 - Maybe. - And actually guys, 237 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,887 I'm encouraging branches to consider a freeze 238 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,513 on discretionary spending. 239 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,351 Such as salary, benefits, et cetera, et cetera, insurance. 240 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,769 Not salaries. 241 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,270 - Petty cash. - Right. 242 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,689 Supplies, and you know, parties, things like that. 243 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,274 - Well- - What about your party? 244 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,984 No, well then, okay, okay. 245 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:28,943 You know what? 246 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,445 I think this has been great. 247 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,530 I think this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it? 248 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,782 Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen, 249 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,700 he has a long trip home. (people clapping) 250 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,660 Thank you for coming in, we have to get back to work. 251 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,287 Michael, I'm gonna stay for the day. 252 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,747 Oh no, no, no, you don't have to do that. 253 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,207 I've got this covered, this was just a meet and greet. 254 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,500 You don't need to- 255 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,417 No, this is a little more involved than that. 256 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,585 I'm gonna set up in here, okay? 257 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,587 I am thrilled that the new boss 258 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,547 has taken such an active interest 259 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,592 in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. 260 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,141 David, it was my understanding 261 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,227 that I was not going to be managed. 262 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,853 [David] What gave you that idea? 263 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,232 - It was my understanding. - I see. 264 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,027 Listen, why, why don't we just leave that position vacant? 265 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,570 Truth be told, I think I thrive 266 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,531 under a lack of accountability. 267 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,534 [David] Look, Michael, Charles is very qualified. 268 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,494 Get to know him, I really think the two of you 269 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,329 are gonna make a great team. 270 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,664 But the branch is still mine? 271 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,749 [David] You're still the branch manager, yes. 272 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,459 I'm going to need to see that in writing. 273 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,169 [David] It is in your contract, 274 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,713 your branch manager contract. 275 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:32,674 But I will need that in writing. 276 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,509 I'm just kidding. (chuckling) 277 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,886 But it would actually give me comfort 278 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,430 if, if I could see it. 279 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,557 [David] Okay then, and if you need anything else at all, 280 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,308 just let Charles know. 281 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,643 Ask him about the party. 282 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,020 Oh right, David, are you coming 283 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,022 to my 15th anniversary party? 284 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,356 [David] I'll give it my best shot, Michael. 285 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,149 No, no, no, no, the other thing. 286 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,567 Oh, okay. 287 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,444 If we hire Cirque Du Soleil as salaried employees, 288 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,696 will that help us with the year-end tax stuff? 289 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,038 You think he hung up? 290 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:03,872 [David] No. 291 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,876 I am nothing if not professional. 292 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:12,130 And if Charles is going to be my boss, 293 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,635 then it is my job, no, it is my profession 294 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:22,223 to get to know him and to show him 295 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,351 exactly what I bring to this branch, 296 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,396 which is competence and success, 297 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:31,775 and above all laughter, and professionalism, 298 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,071 and above all, a sense of whimsy. 299 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,407 So we're considering upgrading company-wide, 300 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,242 it's a live chat for customer service. 301 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,036 What kind of cologne is that? 302 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,245 What? 303 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,455 What kind of cologne are you wearing? 304 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,332 Oh, I'm not, uh, wearing cologne. 305 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,834 Are you telling me you just smell like that naturally? 306 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,670 I'm wearing my son's cologne. 307 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,213 (knuckles tapping) 308 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,589 Meredith, "Slum Dog Millionaire?" 309 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,133 Charles, may I have a minute of your time? 310 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,010 Uh yeah, I have one minute. 311 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,765 Why don't you guys leave? 312 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,266 Okay, nice to see you again, Charles. 313 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,643 Okay, Kelly, thank you. 314 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:07,894 Uh Meredith, thank you. 315 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:12,899 (throat clearing) (sighing) What's up? 316 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,073 - Hi Charles. - Hi Michael. 317 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:20,907 Chow-we. 318 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,662 "Chow-we bit my finga, Chow-we bit my finga. 319 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,330 Ow, ow, Chow-we bit my finga-" 320 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,833 - Michael- - YouTube, classic. 321 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,293 - Okay. - Oh, still raining, 322 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,878 can you believe it? 323 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:34,713 So much rain. 324 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,882 It's humid also. 325 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,634 Is there something I can do for you? 326 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:40,885 - Yeah. - Yeah? 327 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,220 I just got off the horn with David Wallace, 328 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,847 and he said that you and I 329 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,350 should try to get to know each other better, and I agree. 330 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,060 So what I would like you to do 331 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:54,065 is tell me something that you've never told anybody before. 332 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,234 - No. - Come on, 333 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,737 what's your wife's name? 334 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,157 Where did you work before you came here? 335 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,076 - Saticoy Steel. - Beautiful. 336 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:09,414 See, African Americans have such a rich history 337 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,041 of unusual names. 338 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:13,835 No, I worked at a company called Saticoy Steel. 339 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,881 Ss, you're, you're not from paper? 340 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,549 - No. - Does David know this? 341 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,676 Yeah, he knows, he just wants a good manager. 342 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:26,264 Oh, well that actually is a excellent segue 343 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,434 into really what is my only point. 344 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,685 - Yeah, what is that? - And that is, 345 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,854 I, I don't need to be managed, Charles. 346 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,149 And if you wanna pick up some tips, 347 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,068 observing here, and take 'em to the other branches, 348 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,652 it's all good. 349 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:43,448 But Jan would mostly come by when she was super horny, 350 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:48,370 and Ryan would come by to visit his parents and do laundry. 351 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:52,082 So, are we clear? 352 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,209 That's not how I plan on doing things. 353 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,711 Okay, okay. 354 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,380 Well, I'll just bounce that off David, 355 00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,589 see what comes back. 356 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,341 I'll tell David what he needs to know. 357 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,428 David wants it this way. 358 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,138 - Well, whatever David wants. - Okay. 359 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,058 Michael Scott calling for David. 360 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:15,105 Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible, thanks. 361 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,731 Oh, Michael, come on. 362 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,733 No, you have to charm 'em. 363 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,945 (phone ringing) 364 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,196 [Stephanie] David Wallace's office. 365 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,990 Hey there, gorgeous, how you doing today? 366 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,075 [Stephanie] I'm good, thank you. 367 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,577 - How's it hanging? - All right? 368 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:34,207 Good, listen, my name is Michael Scotch, 369 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:40,296 and just wanted to say that I've got David Wallace's son 370 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,881 in the trunk of my car. 371 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,049 If he doesn't get on this phone- 372 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,175 - My God, no- - In five seconds, 373 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,593 - I'm gonna start- - Idiot, idiot, idiot, 374 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,219 - what are you doing? - You've got to- 375 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,470 God! 376 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,722 Oh my God. 377 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,599 (phone ringing) 378 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:52,767 [Stephanie] David Wallace's office. 379 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,145 Hi Stephanie, it's Michael Scott again. 380 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,480 I just spoke with Michael Scotch, 381 00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:00,442 and the son's going to be returned, everything's fine. 382 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,693 [Stephanie] Michael. 383 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,486 And I really, really need to talk to David. 384 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,738 [Stephanie] Please hold. 385 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,865 [Charles] Charles Miner. 386 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,200 Hello? 387 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,076 Hello, who is this? 388 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,414 - Who is this? - I was never given a name. 389 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,335 (Michael exhaling) 390 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,213 (Jim yawning) 391 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,680 (blinds rattling) 392 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,229 Oh, look at me in my pretty tuxedo. 393 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,899 I'm so pretty and carefree, and I don't need glasses, 394 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,400 and oh, what's that? 395 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,862 An objective outside observer doesn't find me amusing? 396 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,031 (snorting) Hysterical. 397 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,825 Uh, hi, can I help you? 398 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,744 - I don't think anyone here- - Oh, um, Pam? 399 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:56,456 Uh, hey, everyone, uh, lunch is on me today. 400 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:57,707 - Wow. - Hey. 401 00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,334 Here you go, just put it with that- 402 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,670 - Wow, that is so unnecessary. - Are you kidding me with this? 403 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,338 On the day that I bring in breakfast? 404 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,506 I mean, it's no big deal. 405 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,425 - I wish you had told us sooner. - Right. 406 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,302 Because I was going to go to the vending machine, 407 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,805 - and get an egg salad. - You still have that option. 408 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,014 (Michael sighing) 409 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:13,973 - Thanks again, Charles. - You're welcome. 410 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,600 - Thank you. - Thank you. 411 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,935 - Nobody thanked me. - Thanks Charles. 412 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,020 For breakfast, except Charles. 413 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,648 (Charles sighing) 414 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,692 You say no more parties, 415 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,860 and then you spend all this money on lunch. 416 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,195 I think it's a little hypercritical. 417 00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,572 Hypocritical, you mean hypocritical, Michael? 418 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,865 No, I mean hypercritical, 419 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,118 because it's even more accentuated. 420 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,203 I do this for every branch I go to. 421 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:38,665 If you do not like it, then I think there are some bagels 422 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,041 leftover from this morning. 423 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,713 David, Stephanie, put me through to him. 424 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,464 Is that him in the background? 425 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,257 David? 426 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,343 David, David, pick off the phone. 427 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,975 Oh, excuse me, Charles. 428 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,101 Just gonna grab one. 429 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,605 Um, pardon me, just so crowded in here. 430 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,440 Just go. 431 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,901 Yeah, sorry. 432 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,528 Oh my gosh, should I seduce him? 433 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,948 No, no one wants to see that. 434 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,911 Charles doesn't like Kelly. 435 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,080 Charles is looking for someone more like him, 436 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:23,251 serious, competent, someone who shares his background, 437 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:27,005 accounting, I'm gonna find someone great for him. 438 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,759 - Michael. - Okay, yep? 439 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,429 I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar 440 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,098 to do the spreadsheets for January and February. 441 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,434 I may need to come in this weekend to fix it. 442 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,603 Do some overtime, wanna do some overtime this weekend? 443 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,729 You know what, Kevin? 444 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,230 I applaud your initiative. 445 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,483 - Yes, you may- - No, sorry Michael. 446 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,443 No, Kevin, right? 447 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,029 Gonna need you to do that during office hours. 448 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,781 - Okay. - Okay, thank you. 449 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,367 Kevin, this is my branch. 450 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,577 You don't ask Charles, you ask me. 451 00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,787 I say approved. 452 00:17:58,828 --> 00:17:59,954 That's not the way it's gonna work. 453 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,456 - Yes it is. - No, it is not. 454 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,501 No, it is not. 455 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,752 Okay, so we're on the same page, great. 456 00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,170 Okay, so we're on the same page, great. 457 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,171 - Okay, Michael. - Okay, Michael. 458 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:09,839 - No, seriously? - No, seriously. 459 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,132 - How old are you? - How old are you? 460 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,092 - Oh, no. - Okay, (chuckling). 461 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,259 I can tell Michael's mood 462 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,220 by which comedy routine he chooses to do. 463 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,555 The more infantile, the more up upset he is. 464 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,642 And he just skipped the "Ace Ventura" talking butt thing. 465 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,851 He never skips it. 466 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,145 This is bad. 467 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,689 - Five years old. - Five years old. 468 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,898 - Dude, stop. - Michael. 469 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,191 - Michael! - Michael! 470 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,151 - That's great, that's great. - That's great. 471 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,361 - Stop it! - Michael! 472 00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:32,487 - Stop doing that. - I'm gonna walk away. 473 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,988 I'm gonna walk away. 474 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,866 - You need to stop doing that. - I'm kidding around, wow! 475 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,786 Relax, everybody, it's just a joke. 476 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,163 Note to self, new guy cannot take a joke. 477 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,665 Oh, I can take a joke, I can take a joke. 478 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:44,874 Yeah, I know, I know, I know, 479 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:45,667 - we're just kidding around. - Right. 480 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,502 It's fine, it's fine. 481 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,004 Oy, so touchy. 482 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,256 PPC, let's continue our morning meeting 483 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,508 in the conference room, let's get to it. 484 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,634 - Michael, let's- - PPC. 485 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,052 You know what? 486 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,220 No, I don't have a problem being micro managed. 487 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,973 Just don't come into my branch, 488 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,517 and tell me exactly what to do. 489 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:05,562 That's micro management, and I will not stand for that. 490 00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:10,025 Is it just me, or does Charles seem sort of weird? 491 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,526 No, it was weird how he was saying everything 492 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:13,820 - right before you said it. - Yeah, that was weird. 493 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:17,032 He's, oh, it's just nice to be with friends, 494 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,867 not have somebody barking at you. 495 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,035 This silence, it's nice to hear the silence. 496 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,703 Maybe we should talk about your party. 497 00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:24,247 Shh, yes, let's talk about my party. 498 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,460 Hey Phyllis, I have a question, 499 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,464 what exactly is the PPC? 500 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,717 Oh, that's the Party Planning Committee. 501 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:38,094 They spend hours planning parties. 502 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,096 - Hours? - Mhm. 503 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,849 I built that house. 504 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,018 (laughing) I can burn it down. 505 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,480 And then out of that cake pops another stripper, 506 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,106 holding a smaller cake, 507 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,901 and then an even smaller stripper pops outta that one. 508 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,736 What is that smaller stripper holding? 509 00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,237 - A cupcake. - Nice. 510 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,781 It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down. 511 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,449 - Okay. - Excuse me guys. 512 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,786 - What's going on in here- - Party Planning Committee, 513 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,329 not your concern, Charles. 514 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,956 This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time. 515 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,918 Oh, all right, well, the Party Planning Committee 516 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,545 is an institution in this institution. 517 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:16,091 It is something that I incorporated in the mid '90s 518 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301 to celebrate the laser disc release 519 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,761 of "A League of Their Own." 520 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,513 It has become a tradition here. 521 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,015 It is something that is important to all of us. 522 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:25,809 What did we do for "League of Their Own" party? 523 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,602 - A pizza of your own party. - Exactly. 524 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,104 Make your own pizza. 525 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,897 I didn't even work here then, I just heard the stories. 526 00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:32,273 Okay, thank you, Dwight. 527 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,358 That should take five minutes of one person's day. 528 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,901 - Really? - Five minutes. 529 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,904 Well then how would we come up with great ideas like Jim's? 530 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:39,447 Go ahead. 531 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:40,782 No, I'd like to get back to work, actually guys. 532 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:41,574 [Charles] What you got, Jim? 533 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,409 No, I... 534 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,744 What is a two-way petting zoo? 535 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,541 You pet the animals, they pet you back. 536 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,627 That's a great idea, and we have a cake 537 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,421 in the shape of a bale of hay. 538 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,089 It's really just a regular shaped cake. 539 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,590 But it's cool, and it's, it- 540 00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:00,093 This isn't a good use of company time, Michael. 541 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,304 Whoa, you're talking about my anniversary party, so. 542 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:06,141 Okay, everyone except for Michael, go back to your desks. 543 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:07,142 - Yeah, why don't you do that. - Thank you very much. 544 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,185 - Yeah, here we go. - Okay. 545 00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,855 - Okay. - Okay, Michael, 546 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,398 I'm dissolving this committee. 547 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,858 - What? - Yeah, I mean, come on. 548 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:18,028 This is a workplace, it isn't designed for your vanity. 549 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:21,322 Newsflash, I've been here for 15 years. 550 00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:25,243 Headline, you have been here one day, end of story. 551 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:29,289 You have no right to cancel my 15th anniversary party. 552 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,874 - End of story. - I don't care- 553 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,834 - End of story, end of story. - If I've hurt your feelings, 554 00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:36,212 or you do not agree with my methods, but it is over. 555 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:37,547 Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 556 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:38,256 You know what? 557 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,215 I'm going to New York, 558 00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:42,510 and I am going to talk to David Wallace. 559 00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:44,512 I'm going to tell him everything. 560 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:48,475 And I'm sorry to say, you're screwed, and you know what? 561 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:52,312 You are gonna be through, and I'm sorry, 562 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:55,023 - I'm sorry to do that to you. - Right. 563 00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:57,150 Do you even know how paper is made? 564 00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,237 It's not like steel, you don't put it into a furnace. 565 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,115 If you put paper into a furnace, 566 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,575 do you know what would happen? 567 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:06,618 You'd ruin it. 568 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,126 (door slamming) 569 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:18,129 Well, on the plus side, 570 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:22,384 Michael's taken some of the heat off Jim, maybe? 571 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:29,057 Kendall had a 15-year party at this big club in New York, 572 00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:32,686 that I heard was great, and he's a dick. 573 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:33,937 15 years, you know? 574 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,981 You're gonna take away a man's 15-year party? 575 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,358 It's a long time. 576 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,987 I met Ed Truck, I met Todd Packer. 577 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:43,947 Truck is dead. 578 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,702 If I had planted a tree when I first started, 579 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,704 you could turn that into paper by now. 580 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,958 - He really doesn't like me. - But you look so dapper. 581 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,334 Thank you. 582 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:59,045 I'm working so hard, I was hitting the phones, 583 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:00,880 I closed a sale, I updated my contacts- 584 00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:03,675 - Busy day, Jim? - What, I? 585 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:05,552 Hey, go tell him you updated your contact list. 586 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,928 I would tell him if it... 587 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:09,848 You're mocking me? 588 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,560 Really, today, like I don't have enough going on? 589 00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:17,397 - I'm sorry, have a candy. - Thank you. 590 00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:25,196 Sweetie, do you mind eating that at your desk? 591 00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,407 I don't want him to keep seeing us together. 592 00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:37,625 (knuckles thumping) 593 00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:38,460 Come in. 594 00:23:39,336 --> 00:23:40,628 - Hey. - Hey. 595 00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:42,422 All right, Charles, I gotta be honest, 596 00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:45,425 I think we really got off on the wrong foot here. 597 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:48,136 And truth be told, I'm a pretty smart guy, 598 00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:49,804 and a hard worker, 599 00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:51,890 and I'm a great number two for the office. 600 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:52,807 Number two? 601 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:54,434 Second in command to Michael. 602 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,978 Oh, I, I didn't know that position existed. 603 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,688 Oh, that's because at first 604 00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:00,398 it was a made up position for Dwight, 605 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,608 just to make him feel better, 606 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,276 assistant to the regional manager. 607 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:04,986 But then he lost that, and Michael gave it to me. 608 00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:08,073 So you're the assistant to the regional manager? 609 00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,407 Assistant regional manager, yeah. 610 00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:11,910 Any responsibilities come with it? 611 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,704 Mm, no, not exactly. 612 00:24:14,746 --> 00:24:18,458 Do you want to keep this made up position? 613 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,709 It's important to you? 614 00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:24,839 All right, I will just, 615 00:24:24,881 --> 00:24:26,007 I'm just gonna let you get back to that. 616 00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:27,092 - Yeah, would you? - Yep. 617 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:27,926 Thanks. 618 00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:37,018 Hello, Stephanie, okay, where is he? 619 00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:39,938 Don't tell me he's in a meeting. 620 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,106 Why don't you just have a seat, he'll be with- 621 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,273 - Is he in the bathroom? - He- 622 00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:43,817 Just tell me, is he in the bathroom? 623 00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:47,862 Excuse me, is this new? 624 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,534 (Sighing) Oh. 625 00:24:55,829 --> 00:24:56,663 (door clicking) 626 00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:57,455 Oh come on. 627 00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:59,207 Hey, do you have the code? 628 00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:00,959 (door clicking) 629 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:01,793 Michael? 630 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:04,587 What are you- 631 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,715 So is this the meeting you've been in all day? 632 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:08,049 How did you get here, Michael? 633 00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:08,883 I drove. 634 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,554 Okay (sighing). 635 00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:15,473 Canceled my 15th anniversary party, 636 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:17,350 just pulled the rug out from under me. 637 00:25:17,392 --> 00:25:20,478 He said no figs, I've already bought 'em, 638 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,355 and I don't have a place to store 'em. 639 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:25,316 So I feel like I've been sort of boned. 640 00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:26,568 Michael, yes- 641 00:25:26,609 --> 00:25:27,193 Did you talk to him about this? 642 00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:28,486 Yeah, I- 643 00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:29,279 You've talked to him all day, obviously. 644 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,572 [David] Right. 645 00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:31,948 Did you talk to him about this? 646 00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:33,074 Well, I didn't know about the figs specifically, 647 00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:33,867 - yeah, and- - No, okay, 648 00:25:33,908 --> 00:25:34,743 then I don't get it. 649 00:25:34,784 --> 00:25:36,119 It doesn't make any sense to me, 650 00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:37,328 because I thought in the new system 651 00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:38,955 that I was supposed to talk to Charles, 652 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,665 and then Charles was supposed to talk to you, 653 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:43,168 and that would dilute any need from me 654 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,336 to ever talk to you that again. 655 00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:45,670 That's not exactly the new system 656 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,464 I, clearly, that's what you wanted. 657 00:25:47,505 --> 00:25:50,216 - No- - 15 years I've been here, 658 00:25:50,258 --> 00:25:53,094 and I have sacrificed a lot. 659 00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:54,387 Yes. 660 00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:56,639 I've put having a family on hold. 661 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:57,849 We didn't ask you to do that. 662 00:25:57,891 --> 00:25:59,392 And I've never gone hang gliding, 663 00:26:00,769 --> 00:26:03,938 and I've never driven my car to the top of Mount Washington. 664 00:26:06,274 --> 00:26:08,610 Okay, nice meeting everyone. 665 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:09,819 [Jim] All right. 666 00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:10,945 And I'll see you in a couple of weeks. 667 00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:11,738 - Cool. - Excellent. 668 00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:15,617 It was very nice meeting you, Charles Miner. 669 00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:18,745 Okay. 670 00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:20,705 See ya. 671 00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:24,709 See ya. 672 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:27,754 Bye! 673 00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:35,136 And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear. 674 00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:38,139 I could see our kids facing obstacles, 675 00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:39,391 being half Black and half Indian, 676 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,101 but it's so worth it, you guys. 677 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,521 There's just me here. 678 00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:47,107 I am gonna get him to buy me a prime rib tonight. 679 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:48,525 - I think he left. - What? 680 00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:51,444 Move! 681 00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:55,031 [Angela] Hello, Charles. 682 00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,409 Charles? 683 00:26:57,450 --> 00:27:00,787 Hey, is that his scarf? 684 00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:02,789 No. 685 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:08,253 Charles and Kelly, absolutely not. 686 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:10,422 He is a sophisticated man. 687 00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:12,632 He does not need to go dumpster diving 688 00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,927 for companionship, okay. (sighing) 689 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:20,932 I don't understand that after 15 years of service here, 690 00:27:22,058 --> 00:27:24,144 I have to get in the car and drive to New York 691 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,395 in order to talk to you. 692 00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:27,439 That doesn't seem right to me. 693 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,482 That doesn't seem fair, and I think 694 00:27:31,443 --> 00:27:33,987 that I've earned more than that. 695 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:38,658 Yeah. 696 00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:43,455 You're right, yes, I get it, I get it, Michael. 697 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,540 - Okay. - Here's what I'm gonna do. 698 00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:46,791 (sighing) Okay. 699 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,168 We will move some money around, 700 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,589 and I will personally see to it that you have your party, 701 00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:54,883 you have your figs. 702 00:27:54,924 --> 00:27:57,969 I will be in attendance, it's gonna be great. 703 00:27:58,011 --> 00:27:59,137 How's that? 704 00:27:59,179 --> 00:28:01,931 (Michael sighing) 705 00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:06,811 - I quit. - What? 706 00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:10,940 Michael? 707 00:28:10,982 --> 00:28:12,609 You have no idea how high I can fly. 708 00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:19,908 (door clicking) 709 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:25,872 No, Mom, I don't know if I did the right thing. 710 00:28:25,914 --> 00:28:29,334 It's just, it's just what I did, okay? 711 00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:30,585 Don't put Jeff on the phone. 712 00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:32,295 I don't, please, I don't wanna. 713 00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:36,132 Hello, Sir, how are your trains? 714 00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:40,178 Uh huh, yes, I'm fine. 715 00:28:42,305 --> 00:28:43,723 I have a savings account, I, 716 00:28:45,308 --> 00:28:46,059 I don't know. 717 00:28:49,020 --> 00:28:49,813 Uh huh. 718 00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:52,816 I will. 719 00:28:54,609 --> 00:28:55,402 Okay. 720 00:28:57,195 --> 00:28:58,697 Dork. 721 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:02,200 (bright upbeat music)